My Obituary

Danena Crist, originally from Jonesboro, Arkansas, died recently in a freak jousting accident in Athens at the age of 84. Danena or "Nena" was a professor at a local university. Known for her obtuse and erractic behavior, she had been exiled from the states upon the completition of her degree from UCA in Conway, Arkansas. She had requested that she be creamated with 50 copies of Dr. Phil's latest book and the entire up-to-date Steven King collection. She was quoted as saying, "At least now, those books will be of use." Danena is survived by her daughter, who upon hearing of her mother's death, merely stated, "I'm not shocked." The ceremony will take place in the center of the Algora marketplace. Cigarettes and Mnt. Dew will be provided.