The Dating Game

Nena's Guide to Keeping a Boyfriend (Section - 1)

I decided to throw together this short guide of how to "keep" a boyfriend. Afterall, I'm the expert on relationships. (Go ahead, chuckle, I did...)


Section - 1
The Dating Game

We all know how it feels to court. The age old, mind numbing assault to the senses that some actually make reference to as *fun*. It's a proverbial tug-o-war between you and the counterpart in who can dig up the most dirt first and use said dirt to their advantage. Here are a few pointers to make this transition period a little less painful.

1a) Never date anyone within your group of friends or anyone related to said friends. Dating a "buddy" is a mistake made by those who too often mistake friendship for romance. It's just an all around bad deal. Everyone in your circle will be more involved in the relationship than you are AND not to mention the awkward moments when you see two of your friends making out on a couch during a group "Kevin Smith" festival. Moresoover, the break-up will, no doubt, be beyond nasty.

2a) Avoid meeting their parents for as long as you possibly can. No matter how close they are to them, you will hate them. Women never falter when it comes to passing undue judgement on the female who dates her son. Your every blemish becomes a physical handicap, a slip of the tongue becomes an act of civil war, and god help you if your shoes don't match your belt. No matter what you do, what you say or whether or not you fold your napkin in your lap, the she-beast will destest the very earth you tread upon and that earth, my friend, is now hers. Not to mention she will henceforth refer to herself as an expert on your relationship and never waiver in donating unwanted advice to your significant other whenever the chance presents itself, be it at Thanksgiving over cranberry sauce or at 3 a.m. when you are just finishing filling her out like an application and you forgot to turn your phone off. Those will be dark days.

3a) Set ground rules. Let them know where they fall in the hierarchy that is your life. For example:
/ My Family ..
/ My Friends ..
/ My Job/School ..
/ My Space ..
/ Them ..

Now, do you see where they fall? It's extremelly important that you maintain the structure that is your life. If you neglect any of the above elements then it, in turn, will effect any relationship you have. And keep in mind, above all else, your friends were there before, during, and no doubt, after...




Check back later for the next section of Nena's Guide to Keeping a Boyfriend